Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Finally! Another introspective mood brings me to a point where I find the will to write.
Time is the subject of the evening.
This time thing.... its, uh.... its interesting. I can’t help but think back to the man I was a year ago, and all the things in my life that have changed. I like to think I’ve evolved, if even just a tiny bit.
But I think I’ve evolved a lot. The Lord has blessed me with an ambition to change the things inside me that I don't (or He doesn’t) like, and I feel like he’s kept that blessing fairly constant this past year. I’ve made a lot of priority shifts, and I see the world and my purpose in it very differently. I also see the roles of everyone around me very differently.
I guess I write this just to rejoice in the fact that my God has counted me worthy to be drawn near to him, even though I don’t deserve it one bit. (John 6:44, Romans 3:10-12)
...and it makes me wonder, why me?
Why am I the one drawn to Him? What is my life but dust? Surely my time spent here is just a blip on a radar that has been beeping over and over for millions of years. Why is the Lord, in His magnitude, willing to put a magnifying glass over my tiny little wimpy world with my wimpy problems and wimpy triumphs, and watch them closely?
Because its obvious He’s watching. I know He’s involved...
I mean seriously. You would have to be insane to say that certain coincidences that have happened to me this year are outside of the hand of God.

No. I believe the Lord wants something from me.
Perhaps my life? But surely even that is minuscule.

Maybe if I believed that when Jesus said “You will see even greater things than these,” (John 1:50) he meant it; and I would realize that God isn’t watching my puny little life for no good reason, but so that he might glorify Himself in it.
And though that may sound selfish on His part, I know that the moments in life that I love most are those where I am in the center of His will, so I believe Him drawing me there is an act of love.

So I praise the Lord for the breath my lungs have yet to breathe. May I inhale deeply and exhale fiercely, for the Lord will not stand for less than greatness.


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